Not My Enemy
by Mega-Erofan
Summary: It has been three months since Ma Chao has been recruited by Zhuge Liang into Shu and he cannot help the inner conflict between what is justified and what feels right when a young Cao haunts his thoughts. "I tried to hate her because of what her father was, because she was the spawn of a murderer. Perhaps it is because she was not my enemy, she never was…" One-sided Ma Chao/OC


My resentment for the Cao family is strong as it always has been and the man behind it will never earn my forgiveness. I may not be able to seek vengeance for my father and brothers but Cao Cao's life will be ended by my hand. I will seek justice for them soon. I will ensure his family will not be spared either as he did not spare mine. All who bear the blood of the Cao family will fall; brothers, cousins, and children alike, none shall be spared. And why does that vow bother me so?

Cao Cao's men were none too kind to me in battle and they took one of my closest friends when I had nothing else. I was left to wander in my sorrow and anger and soon found comfort in the arms of Shu's kind men. I want them to suffer the way I did for all that time, each and every one of them, but my heart always pulses in pain when I think of doing so to…her. Cao Qi, the oldest daughter of that monster and a girl I am sure has stolen the hearts of many men in her life, including myself. I only met her once before the relations between my father and Cao Cao soured and she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She was a kind, strong warrior, well-trained in the ways of the spear, and so obviously took after her mother in ways of looks. From her coal black hair to her polished copper eyes, I could hardly tell she was of Cao blood when I first saw her. She was not shy like other girls I knew from my childhood, she always obeyed her father but spoke out when she wanted her opinion to be heard even if others had no time for it. Her personality was much like her father's but she held more sympathy and mercy for others than he did. She never wished to do harm unless it was justified but she still loyally served her father because she wanted to fight for her family's cause. I understood that more than anything else about her.

I have only recently heard news from gossip going around the villages that Cao Qi left Luoyang with no word of where she was going. No one knows why this happened so suddenly or why Cao Cao supposedly allowed his oldest daughter to simply walk out of his castle. No one knows where she is currently, whether she is alive or not, and that is what scares me the most. Fear strikes my heart when I imagine her being ambushed by a troop of Wu's merciless officers, when I see her being captured and dragged off to some camp hidden in the mountains, when the possibility of her being abused and left to die in the middle of the wilderness is too much to ignore. I have patrolled every corner of Shu territory several times, mostly to clear my head but also to search for her, hoping she wanders into our home. That was two months ago and I continue watching for her, hoping she will show herself soon, whether it be in our land or that of Wu. As long as she is safe, I am content, but why do I care so much for her?

I hate her father and brothers and uncles with equal passion but I could never bring myself to hate her, even when I wanted to. I tried to hate her because of what her father was, because she was the spawn of a murderer. Perhaps it is because she was not my enemy, she never was…but can she ever become a permanent part of my life? Her father would never approve of it and I would be going against personal morals I have set for myself long ago but part of me simply does not care. That same part of me begs to have Cao Qi in my arms, to protect her and assure her everything will be alright, to tell her everything I feel for her and everything I ever will feel, to have her in my life at last and to give her mine in return.

"Ma Chao!"

I sigh under my breath, being pulled back into the reality that is Yizhou's gardens, then climb to my feet as my cousin approaches. He seems rather excited about something but I do not pay it much mind. He is usually like this anyway.

"What is it, Ma Dai?" I ask.

"You won't believe what I'm about to tell you!" He exclaims, flailing his arms about. "I hardly believe it myself but I was there. I…"

"What are you talking about?"

"She's here." He states quietly.

"Who's here?"

He shoots me a cross look. "You know exactly who I mean, Ma Chao. _Her._"

"Wait, you mean…" It could not be her.

"Yes! Now c'mon, she's speaking with our lord right now!" He grabs my wrist and practically drags me into the castle, which is relatively easy since all my mental energy surges into the deep recesses of my mind.

How did she reach the castle without other troops being aware of her presence? She may be small and lithe but she was never the best at sneaking about. She trekked from Luoyang to here in a matter of weeks. How does one even try to pull off such a feat without being noticed by patrolling troops, on foot or horseback? I could hardly believe it until I stepped into the throne room and saw her standing there, casually speaking to our lord and his other Generals. She looked so different from when we last saw one another yet she seemed to have been preserved in the days after our last meeting. She let her hair grow out so the end of her plait braid just barely reached her lower back and her short bangs lay wildly across her forehead. Her armor, a black and silver chest plate with matching armored skirt, boots, and gauntlets, complimented her so well and the black cloak draped over her shoulder only added to her charm. I did not see a daughter of Cao Cao or a warrior of Wei, I saw a woman of great valor and beauty kindly regarding my lord like a lifetime friend.

"Hardly recognize her, huh?" I sigh at my cousin's silly inquiry but nod nonetheless, choosing to keep my sights on her instead of ruining the moment with words. I may accidentally let slip my unsure feelings for her if I allow it. "She just arrived at the castle gates a while ago and asked for presence in our lord's court. I think she's considering joining Shu. I certainly will be strange if our lord allows it and we both know he will. I mean, a Cao in Shu is hardly believable."

Normally I agree with him but I know better than him. Her blood and name is of Cao roots but she is not truly a Cao. She has yet to find where she belongs and she is wise enough to know that it is not in Wei. Her heart beats at a different rhythm than her father's and she will always follow it to the bitter end and it seems her heart has led her to us. Perhaps she wishes to pursue the same goal as our lord, to bring peace to the land by unifying it, or she wants to learn from us something her father's kingdom lacks. Our scholars may not be the wisest but she probably will have much to learn from our strategists and Generals in the ways of battle. No matter her reason, I hope she does join us in the coming war. Not because of the confusing feelings I have for her that I wish to decode but because she has not been my enemy.

"Ma Chao!" I look up and meet the gaze of bright amber eyes.

She never was my enemy…and she never will be.


End file.
